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Emotional Duck Dives

Years ago, at the base of the Santa Cruz foothills, I fastened the surfboard tie around my ankle. Waves crashed in front of me as my heart skipped out of my chest.  The surf instructor began to speak. Following his lead, I stood on top of the surfboard, which was still resting in the sand. […]

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It is...You Are Not

Let me tell you something I feel strongly about: I don’t want people to own or label themselves with what they struggle with. I completely understand why people take ownership; however, I want to protect people from the dangers of that mistake. Look at the contrast between the following statements:  “I am depressed” in comparison […]

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Fertile People Say Stupid Things

Infertility robs you of your self-esteem. It sabotages your sex life. It steals joy. It promotes loneliness and isolation. That's all without the members of the peanut gallery opening their mouths. Then they do. Sucking out more of your self-esteem. Killing more joy. Making you want to isolate even more. “Are you ever going to […]

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How to Support Those Waiting to Be Parents on Mother’s Day

If you leave your home on Mother’s Day, you are most likely going to encounter a handful of couples who wish they could crawl in a hole rather than strategically dodge the landmines of  painful triggers reminding them that they haven’t yet entered the club of parenthood. 1 in 8 couples struggle with infertility and […]

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A Childless Mother's Day

Alright, ladies! It’s May, and that means Mother’s Day is right around the corner. I know, you just survived the perfect family photos displayed for your torture of fertile-families all adorned in their Easter best. Ready or not, it’s almost time for Mother’s Day. Time is not our friend when it comes to this dreadful […]

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Self-Care is Not Selfish

Allow me to ask you a personal question. When was the last time you took care of yourself? Now, I’m not talking about caring for your basic necessities. I’m not talking about a healthy lunch or a good nights sleep. Yes, both of those are imperative to healthy lifestyles. I am not minimizing them or […]

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How Do You Define A Month?

Once upon a time, a month was measured in thirty to thirty-one day increments, with the occasional 28/29-day month, of course. For the first few decades of life, calendar pages turned and days evaporated into history. We marked them off of our calendar and breezily tore off pages with anticipation of all of our tomorrows. […]

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Rise Up

She sat Indian style, across from me in my office, hands clinching her hair as she held her head up. As rain cascaded down my window, so too, did tears down her rosy cheeks. Between sniffles and reaches towards the tissue box she lamented about how hard life had become.  Wanting to be a mother […]

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What! You too?

Somewhere on our journey through infertility, we lose friendships that we once held dear. Some intentionally. Some unintentionally. These lost friendships typically stem from a lack of understanding or the two of you entering very different seasons of life. Whether right or wrong, there’s become a disconnect as their life goes in one direction and […]

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A Mama’s Grief

In the dry, scorched heat of summer, a beaming woman, five-months-pregnant, stands in her kitchen. Apron draping over her pregnant belly, she was cooking for her husband and two sons, she wonders what parenting three will be like.  She was meant to be a mother. Yes, you can say that we all were, but this […]

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Find Your Peace
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